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My Years and Mirror Say I am Old….

by Diana
My Years and Mirror Say I am Old...

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My Years and Mirror Say I am Old….

My Mind Says I am Young…

I don’t know if this has happened to you yet my darling, but one day you will look in the mirror and see me. You will be shocked and it is at this time you will realise that you are ageing, it s a horrid feeling. Yes My Years and Mirror Say I am Old.. My Mind Says I am Young.

You can almost feel the sand drain from the glass and for a while you are scared.  Then you will construct a plan and you may opt for plastic surgery, you may take up running or take to the gym and for quite a while you will tell yourself you can handle this ageing thing.

It has changed people don’t age so fast now, this is 2017, times have changed.  You are right I am sure to a large extent, but nevertheless for a brief moment you looked into my world.

My Years and Mirror Say I am Old…My Years and Mirror Say I am Old...

I look in the mirror and every time I am shocked, I cannot believe that the girl I once was has gotten so terribly old, I am sad for her. Then I take a deep breath and put on my happy face and I look out of the window and look at the theatre of life and am amazed. the clouds are white and fluffy, there is a breeze in the air, there are birds in the sky.

I think this is the beauty of ageing perhaps it is only now we get to see the details of life and how absolutely amazing it is. The colours of the leaves, the smell of the flowers, the intricacies of the petals, the gentleness of the wind, the warmth of the sun, and the pale hues of the evening. When the world stands still.

Perhaps there is reason we lose some of our faculties that we may better concentrate on what truly matters, on what’s around us, on nature and how grand it is.  It is as if a whole world has exploded into glorious techno-colour , and I notice details that I never saw before. I was so busy with life, taking care of family and things, that I forgot to take notice of life around me.

Perhaps this is what ageing is about, getting firmly routed in what the world really is and what it means, the birth and the death of all that is around us.

My Years and Mirror Say I am Old...My Years and Mirror Say I am Old…

But still I want you to know that although my body is getting frail and my mind might wander I am no different to the young girl and your young mother. I still remember your father in his school uniform, how handsome he was  and later as a young man. The fun we had, and we were not always good.

I am still that person, and long to be held and cared for, to be touched and caressed, to be teased and flirted with.  I am no different.  And if I had half a chance I would dance all night and drink too much, and forget my name.

I haven’t forgotten how, I am just like you, but I don’t look like it, but inside, I am still the young girl with a thousand questions.

In fact the older I get the more questions I have.  So I know even though you act like you have all the answers, I know you don’t and I know life for you is scary too.

My Years and Mirror Say I am Old...My Years and Mirror Say I am Old…

And because I am your mother, I always want to be there for you and help to answer your questions. All I can tell you is that I am still learning and will never stop and you will do the same. Just have the wisdom to know this. Life is exciting if there is always more to learn.

My Years and My Mirror Say I am Old

Although I know you want to look after me, it is still me as the parent who will be looking after you, this is my role and always will be.

So please allow me this role, ask me questions, seek my wisdom even if I don’t have any, just consult with me, as it is probably only you that will make me feel worthwhile and that I still have something to give.

My Years and Mirror Say I am Old...All of us until our last breath want to feel useful, that in some way we add to life and that we matter.  When this is no longer the case then we need to go.

So even when I have lost all my marbles find me something that I can do to help, this will make me feel good.  I want to be part of something, we all do.

Don’t tell me off, or put me down, don’t belittle me, or scold me, I am still the senior, respect me and I will respect you.

I love you xx

This was written whilst caring for an elderly person and the journey prompted the writing of the book ‘Any Age Gap Year – The Complete Guide to ‘Live in Care’ in the UK, you can find more details here https://www.mysixtypluslife.com/any-age-gap-year-the-complete-guide-to-becoming-a-live-in-care-in-the-uk/

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