Posh Spoilt Brats – avoid at all costs..You have been warned
If you ever have the misfortune of meeting one of these creatures ‘A Posh Spoilt Brat’ do the rest of us a favour and put it out of its’ misery.
You will be helping mankind in general, in fact I think this could even become a charity!! ‘The Posh Nobs and Nobessess Culling Charity’…
Posh Son ‘Summons Me’!!
The call came yesterday, and it was from this particularly painful grown up male Son. It thinks it is a ‘Posh English Gentleman’, it’s about 52yrs old, stands at about 6’4” and has a booming voice. ( I think he thinks he is Stephen Fry, but not gay) he wishes!! The world, according to him, waits on his every word,(or so he thinks!!).
He has one of those loud British voices, that have been over cultivated and has no volume control.
Sometimes when he speaks I think he is about to ‘Throw Up’ as he takes so long to say something about nothing…..
The ends of the words have morphed into something un-recognisable, accept to me, it sounds like he is vomiting.
‘Awfully’ said by him is ‘Awfulla’ or ‘absolutella’, but the ‘a’ is not so much an ‘a’ that you and I would say, it’s more of ‘auuuh’ (hence the sound of ‘throwing up’!!
More… ‘Yes is ‘nyaass’ .. (said very slowly and often repeated). You see these particular creatures have no time constraints, and of course neither do you!! and the world is blessed by their existence!!
Daddy is Dadda… you get the gist…
I digress, now you have the picture of the prize prick who called me, to say ” Would you mind awfulla (awfully) picking up Archiebald,(his son, who the fuck calls their child Archibald?) from Eton?
The only reason I have anything to do with this creature is that my ‘Gen Greats’ are his parents. So out of respect and because it’s my job, I try to help!!
Posh Parents Lunching
He tells me He and his wife will be lunching in Eton and then leaving for the airport for a few days break!! ( he needs one).
Instructions from his Lord and Master “When you get to Eton give Archibald a call and he will meet you at the car”.
“Yes Sir” I say, mentally clicking my heels together!!
He had already told his parents the arrangements. What he didn’t account for were his parents memories, or rather selective memories!!
The next morning I popped over to the parents home to tell them I would be picking up said grandchild to inflict him on them for the night.
The next morning they were bright and breezy, full of the joys of spring and beautifully dressed. Both ready and eager to join me for the adventure in the car to Eton. They had made up their minds, the purpose of the journey is joining their Son, daughter in law and grandchild for Lunch.
Ooooh Dear God they had not been invited, which I mumbled to them, but I think they chose to ignore this, it was inconvenient. They much preferred their version of events.
So off we set for the hours journey, the day was fine and thought perhaps this would be a good day out for them. Windsor and Eton are always pretty, the history, the architecture, the streets teeming with tourists, backed by the peaceful Swans elegantly floating on the Thames, it’s idyllic.
We finally arrive after much arguing with Google Maps, Grandad knows best!!
I phone Posh Child’s Son to say I have arrived and am ready to fetch him, to be told “Nyaas , you will have to wait an hour or so, I have just started my Starters!!”…. Little did he know grandparents were in the Car and getting ready for combat.
Had I come alone I would have had to sit in the car and wait for his ‘Royal Highness’…..
There are just not enough swear words to do the retort justice.
This particular specimen is only 15years old!!
Where did he get such an attitude from at such a young age? Is it in the blood? Does Eton do a particular class on being a ‘Young Pompous Prick?’’ I would love to know, and want to sign up now.
I report this to the grandparents and they simply laugh and prepare themselves for the assault on the restaurant and their offspring…
Posh Spoilt Brat – The Fun Is Over
It would appear that the ‘Posh Spoilt Brats’ of these two indomitable people are about to get ‘what for’ , Yes this is great and I have ringside tickets… maybe I could YouTube this ?…
We manage our journey up steep steps and cobbled paving, this is a feat for these two as one has dodgy hips and the other wonky knees. However nothing will deter them..
At the restaurant Grandad and I wait patiently at reception, whilst grandmother has gone full force into finding her offending tribe…
Grandad and I make our way through to the restaurant to find the offspring being re-sat at a new and bigger table that will seat all of us.
On approaching I get cheshire grin from daughter in law, she is an unattractive creature with sort of fuzzy dark hair and a nose that wants to kiss her chin.
I want to Bitch slap her there and then, a little colour would do her good.
The little beyond Foetus Spoilt Brat is sat in the corner gorging on his steak, without even looking up or feeling any embarrassment he continues to feed himself.
The Prize Prick Son has head buried deep in his plate, whilst muttering something about being in a dreadful hurry to catch a flight.
Yes he and his ugly wife are taking a few days break, of course they need it, perhaps it will be an activity weekend, where they find a sense of humour and lose their egos!! how I wish..
Posh Son and Wife Leave – 2 Down 1 to Go!!
Finally senior Spoilt Brat and wifey leave, thank god two down, one to go.. Leaving us alone with the creature in the corner now fully involved in his phone!!
Grandad, Granny and I decide to make the most of the situation and order lunch and try to relax and enjoy the time.
Seriously how do children treat their parents like this?
I can feel how hurt Granny is, and it makes me sad, why didn’t Spoilt Son invite his Mum and Dad to join them all for Lunch? It would have been so easy…
The thoughtlessness of these seemingly well educated people totally pisses me off…
Maybe past history and anger is underlying their behaviour? Surely we are old and ugly enough to forgive and live for today.
Make the most of each day, there is no guarantee on tomorrow
More wine anyone?….